Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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