I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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