Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just found a bag of teeth...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
