so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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