id be glad to
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
