I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
