I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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