So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
