I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
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I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
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I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My bed smells like the plague
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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