is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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