I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment