is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida