she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
