Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
