i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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