I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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