man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
