Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
