guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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