Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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