when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
