I accidentally had phone sex last night
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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