I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize