Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
