Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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