i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
