I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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