haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
