K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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