she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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