so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
