no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
