I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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