yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
