you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
