I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
