You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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