Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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