Kiss
Puke
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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