Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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