There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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