Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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