Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
