So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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