Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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