his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My life is pants optional.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
