Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
