I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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