im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
