I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
