Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
