and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
