know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
