While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
