fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
