Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
send nudes
from the living room?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
