Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
FUCK WHALES
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
