Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He kissed a someone with a penis
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
