all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
