what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
