i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
