pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Randomize
