I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
