She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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