Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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