It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
