I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
