So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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