I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
