I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize