Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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