i think i have herpe
just one?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
