i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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